Joy

“God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love. Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you, “Do you believe there is a God?” you may find yourself answering, 

“No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.”

~Ernest Boyer, Jr.

Today is your birthday and 
today i am choosing joy.  

 i remember you and my thoughts are of heaven

 my God who is perfect and makes no mistakes has taken this day 

from me and made it nearly perfect. 

Today

i made it to the gym

i changed diapers 

i blew bubbles

i picked up pinecones and waved at the mail lady.

i let a perfect stranger with a cane and white hair nuzzle his face into

my baby's head in Kmart as his wife looked on from her wheelchair.

hampton squeezed his finger and laughed and smiled

and pure joy rushed in

Tears in Kmart. 

happy tears because i know that's what you would have done

you loved old people

Today i am choosing joy all day long for you

because i know there is a God

and i know where you are

Oh happy day my precious friend. 

Easter 2013

A peek into our Easter...

 3 BOYS...3 BASKETS

 POGO BALLS!  Remember these?

Is there anything sweeter 

than a baby in a bowtie?  No.  

I have to tell you THE BEST story about our Easter baskets.  Seven years ago, when the big boys were 4 weeks old, we were in Macon, Georgia visiting family.  We attended a festival {maybe Cherry Blossom Festival??} and I came across a lady handpainting these adorable Easter pails.   Of course, I bought them and they have been the boy's baskets every since.

ENTER BABY #3...Hampton.  Last year, I could not decide on a basket for him because nothing seemed as special as Tradd and Jackson's baskets.  I looked on Etsy, Pottery Barn, etc and just could not find something that I loved so we just let him used a small pail that I already had.  I knew this year that I HAD to buy him an actual "forever" basket so back to Etsy.

Y'ALL.  I found the lady from the festival 7 years ago on Etsy!  I emailed her to confirm that she was the same and ordered Hampton his forever basket to match his brothers!   Nancy was wonderful to work with and my basket arrived in plenty of time for Easter.  This link EASTER BASKETS will take you to her site, but it looks like she may be sold out!

Face Time

I have become somewhat of a make-up junky.  

I am mostly a drugstore make-up wearer {and apparently a 
word-maker-upper} and I like it this way 
because I don't mind trying different products
 if I don't spend a ton of money on them.  
I spend more money on the products I use for 
cleaning and moisturizing my face.

So here's a peek inside my make-up bag!

1. {Clarisonic Mia and Purity Made Simple}I always start with a clean face.  My bro and SIL gifted me a Mia for my birthday last year {I know...best gift ever!}  I was a little late to the party on this one, but if you don't already have one of these, you need it!!  To wash, I use Philosophy's Purity Made Simple.  It is the only cleanser that I have ever used to the very last drop and my last bottle lasted almost a year.  

2.  {Garnier BB Cream}I tried this after my girl April at A.Liz Adventures recommended it {Thanks, A!}  This is the second BB cream that I've tried and I will definitely be using this one for a while!!  It is thick, but it blends in well.  Sometimes I put powder over this, but when I am in a hurry I just go with it. 

3.  {Jane Iredale PruePressed-Sheer Honey and Target Kabuki brush}This blush is not a drugstore find, but another freebie and thus the blush I have been using.  No matter the blush you use, a kabuki brush is a must have in my opinion.  I use it for blush and bronzer.

4.  {Maybelline Volum' Express The Falsies Flared Mascara - Very Black} My new favorite mascara!  I have used Latisse in the past and loved it, but didn't love the price tag.  This gives me "latisse lashes" minus the Latisse! 

Southern Boys: 7

Dear Tradd and Jackson, 

We celebrated your 7th birthday the end of February.  It's hard for Mama to imagine that seven years have passed since I first laid eyes on you...tiny and so fresh from God.  Having twins has truly been one of the greatest joys of my life.  You are brothers and best friends, but there will always be something more.  An unexplainable connection that is unlike anything I will ever understand.  I witness it all the time when the two of you just "get" each other.

For your birthday this year you wanted to have a sleepover!  We let you invite a few of your good buddies {poor Aiden was sick}...and after pizza, cookie cake, presents, and wii games until after midnight, 

 we called it a success! 

Happy Birthday, my precious boys! 

 I love you more than chocolate...and that's A LOT. 

Mama

Take that Martha.

Source: someecards.com via Kim on Pinterest

So I saw this little diddy on Pinterest a while back.  And while I have been known to PIN and never DO, this actually provided a solution to an ever growing problem in my closet.  {I use the word "problem" in the loosest form possible because let's be honest...no one has ever lost life or limb over tangled necklaces}
This is what I pinned....

Source: loveeatrun.com via Brittany on Pinterest

I did not have the space for a towel rod in my closet so when I stumbled upon this toilet paper holder at the Ross Dress for Less my DIY wheels started spinning. { I found a picture online of the one I purchased because you really can not see how this went down unless you see this picture.}  I removed the thingy that holds the TP and bought shower curtain hooks to hold my necklaces.  

So here's the finished product!  I love it and for under ten bucks I solved the

 Jewlery Crisis of 2012 as it were.

 

answer

I have been writing this in my head for the better part of a year. I have kept my words hidden {even from myself at times} for fear of making someone sad or upset, but this heaviness, this heart-weight just has to be surrendered.

Before she left, I did not know the space in my world that she filled.  Before she left, I was me...now I am someone else.

My battle is not to focus on the end, but these images consume me with eyes open or closed.

The call- the frantic shuffle to talk to my own mother.  Talking to Jacob in the waiting room full, but it was just us.  Anna giving her Coke from a straw in a can- her tongue thick in her mouth as she tried to talk around the meds.  She looked so small.

And her last to me, "How are my boys?" It was Monday.

Waiting- for doors to open, for breath to catch, to stop hoping and start healing.

The rise and fall of her chest in cadence.  Watching numbers on a screen, we are transfixed, they change and we notice. Wednesday.

I take my turn holding her hand- same as always just like Bon's.  Her little ones draped over her bed.  waiting

They said hours, not days- it was days.

And when it finally happened...when ushered out of this life and into the next...quiet.  still.  peace. It was Saturday.

I find I am still waiting.  For a call, a happy accidental meeting at Target that never happens.  I am distracted and sad and it makes me smile through tears.

My thoughts are fixed on heaven.  The glory that she must be seeing- the embrace that is holding her so tightly- the way the morning must look like from there.  And a question.

Is she missing me like I am missing her?  Because if she is- it's not always happy in heaven.

An Answer comes- just one line in a book that settles my question- at least momentarily.

In His embrace time loses all sense of speed and stress and space and stands still and holy.  

So there it is.  My answer.
He has her full attention and because of that she hasn't even noticed that I'm not there.

I am settling into the new me.  Less heavy, more healed...and praying for peace.  

Picture Post

Well.  Here is a snapshot of what we've been doing the last few months.  If you make it to the end of this post,we'll talk then.... 

Christmas Tree Hunting {Weekend before Thanksgiving}

{Thanksgiving}

{JLC Holiday Market}

{Nutcracker Date}

{Christmas Program at church}

{Christmas}

Wow!  You made it!  As you can see we've been busy {just like you} and loving every minute of our time spent together with family.  I haven't even downloaded the pictures from my other camera of our other Christmas celebrations and our ski trip...maybe later.  Toodles!